I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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