oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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