Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
