Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
