I don't remember. Are we still dating?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
