Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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