Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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