Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
