Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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