I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
