Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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