one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
