Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
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