My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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