she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
