Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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