Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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