You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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