I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
