First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
