i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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