At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
