ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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