Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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