I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize