Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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