it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
