called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
