Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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