Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
