Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize