thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
