Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It was confusing and full of hummus
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
