in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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