Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
