Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
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