i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
