Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
