About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
