Kiss
Puke
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
