Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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