IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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