I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
