Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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