'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
