Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
