Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
