Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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