Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
