we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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