Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
