Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
