Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
