Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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