this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
