How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize