Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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