He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
