u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
