its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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