Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
