i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
