So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
