He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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