every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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